Personally, I would have just started over...

My neighbors posted this sign on their garage over the weekend...

Congrats. College Grad!
Yep... nothing like planning ahead.

The Mantel From Hell: summer edition

I hate my mantel.
I mean really.  I hate it.  What is one to do with a decorating conundrum like this?

1. There is a wacky, asymmetrical vaulted ceiling
2. There is a wacky soffit that sticks out
3. The fireplace is centered on the room, not on the mantel
4. There is beautiful woodwork, but it is oak and wacky Hubby won’t let me paint it a nice crisp white.

sigh.
So I am never happy with how the mantel is decorated, and since I decorate seasonally, there are 4 times a year where I am freshly disappointed.

This had been my lame spring mantel:

Hardly inspirational. In fact, it kind of irritated me every time I looked at it.
I looked at mantels here.

It inspired me to summer it up a bit.

I took the green frame from the spring mantel and shot it with a coat of Rustoleum’s Heirloom White. (Yes, I use the same frames over and over and over again.)  The barn star was a rusty red metal, but I cleaned it up and painted it with my current favorite color: Valspar’s Mediterranean.

I put a nail through the top of the barn star and into the frame, but the two bottom points of the star are secured with Museum Putty, which I have raved about in previous posts.
 
I tucked a few twine-wrapped starfish into the frame and secured them with Museum Putty as well.
From there I added a blue vase with hydrangeas that I’m drying and various shells and summery items.

I am a big believer in the rule of 3.  Three pops of the turquoise, three silver candlesticks, three books… Odd numbers are good. They just balance nicely.

 
I like the details.
It’s when I step back and view the whole wacky, asymmetrical mess of a mantel that I start getting twisty. Grr.
Any suggestions?
(And don't say "move" or to use a blowtorch.  Handosme Hubby already shot down those ideas…)

I am SO not leaving a tip for housekeeping…

Cute shoes, right?
(Ignore the need for a pedicure and just agree with me that the shoes are cute, OK?)


On my recent trip to Austin, it appears that housekeeping thought they were cute too.  I bought them specifically for the trip, but did not end up wearing them at all.  They stayed parked next to my suitcase the entire weekend… unworn, pretty much with the tags still on them.

Upon packing up to leave, the shoes were gone.  We called the other girls on the trip to ensure that they didn’t grab them on accident, but Shawn and I knew what happened… Housekeeping helped themselves.
Shawn was diplomatic and called the hotel operator for me, asking if they could check and see if housekeeping “accidently scooped the shoes up with dirty towels or sheets, etc.” thus giving them an “out” and a chance to return the shoes.  We didn’t hear back from them.

As we were checking out at the front desk, we asked if housekeeping had reported anything.  The front desk hadn’t heard about the incident from housekeeping.  (what a shocker!) We gave the manager my name, number and home address, on the off-chance the shoes “reappeared.”  I did not hold out much hope.  c’est la vie.   Forty minutes later, the hotel manager called me.  They had found the shoes.  Where were they?  They had mysteriously appeared in a 6th floor stairwell.  (A place I had not been before.)  I was very happy to get them back. (Because look how cute they are!)

Several years ago, Handsome Hubby and I had a camera taken from our hotel room.  The front desk had received enough complaints from guests who were missing items, that they called the police.  After interviewing us, the police set up a hidden camera in our room the next day.  Nothing out of the ordinary was caught on film.  We figured we lost our new camera.  The day we were leaving, HH did his normal, thorough sweep of the hotel room, which includes looking under the beds.  The camera was under the bed, pushed all the way up against the wall with the headboard.

So this is the scam:  The thief who takes your item hides it within your own room or somewhere on the premises.  If the item is discovered missing, they can easily say “oh, you must have misplaced it.  How great that you found it.”  After all, it isn’t stolen if it is still in the room, right?  Once you check out and leave, they can go and retrieve their stash without fear of getting caught.

The lesson here?  Check every square inch of your room before you check out and report something as missing the minute you can’t find it.


Also?  I clearly have excellent taste in shoes.

Please click here to enter our quirky little Austin souvenir contest.

Linked up with Homebody's Tips & Tricks

A "Keep Austin Weird" Contest

The ladies from Harried Mom of Four, Impulsive Addict, JennyKate's Spot, Seriously Shawn, The Texas Darlings and The V-Spot just spent a fun weekend in Austin, Texas.


Keepin' Austin Weird from Rebecca Darling on Vimeo.

Keep Austin Weird is Austin's slogan... so the six of us tried to do our part!  We shared our senses of humor, a lot of laughs and a ton of off the cuff comments {some too inappropriate to share here}. We decided to write down the funny comments that were said and turn them into a contest for all of our readers. The winner will receive Austin souvenirs, picked out by all six of us.

The contest is very easy. Below you will find six quotes. Match up the quote with who you think said it.  For example, if you think blogger A was the person who said quote #4, your answer is A=4. Leave your match-ups for A-F in ONE comment.

This contest is running on all six blogs, but there is no need to leave multiple entries, but go and visit all of these fab ladies. At the end of the contest, the reader with the most correct answers (or ties for the most correct answers) from each blog will have their name entered in a drawing. The random drawing will be held on Friday June 3rd and the winner will be announced that same day. (Then they can watch their mail box for the six separate little Austin-gifts that will be coming their way...)

Sounds fun, yes?   Here we go...

A. Becca- The Texas Darlings

B. JennyKate- JennyKates Spot

C. Jen-Harried Mom of Four

D. Vivienne- The V-Spot

E. Seriously Shawn

F. Impulsive Addict

Who said it...?
1.} Well clearly he wants to play a game called Just The Tip!
2.} Oh, that's even worse sober!
3.} He looks like a porn-star with that phony-tail and a 9th grade mustache!
4.} I'd rather be juvenile than an old fart!
5.} I think I just peed on my shoes a little.
6.} I don't know how to knick-knack my house so I don't know how to knick-knack me.

Have fun and good luck!

Here are some more quotes, just because they're too funny to go unmentioned!

* Did I shower last night? {Vivienne}
* No more free drinks! {JK}
* Ooh my sphincter! {Shawn}
* We brought the flats {Mimi & Mamarazzi out last night but they got wet. {Becca}
* I've always wanted fallopian tube art! {Vivienne}
* We had pizza last night...right? {Vivienne}
* I can't get it in the hole, Shawn. {JK}
* I might have just tinkled a little. {JK}
* I just drank matches. {IA}
* Tapas? I don't want to go to a topless restaurant! {Shawn}
* When I get waxed I yell Bradley Cooper! {Shawn}
* Either I'm in a disco or this room is spinning. {JK}
* Well if the spasm is from an orgasm than it's a good spasm! {Shawn}
* Walk away while you still can Tony Rogers {a comedian we ran into while having pizza at 4 in the morning}, we will suck you in! {JK}
* Asms are good, it's the isms you need to stay away from! {Porn star waiter who clearly was listening to our conversation!}

Oh my gosh, it was so great to just let go and have fun!  If you haven't been to visit these fun and funny ladies, please do so... I know you'll love them as much as I do.
*** By the way, if you think that video is fun, but can't put them together on your own (I sure can't!) Becca has a fabulous business called Darling Memories and she'll do it for you!

Drying Hydrangeas. It’s so easy.

I love fresh flowers.  I love Hydrangeas.  I will even tolerate dried flowers…. as long as they’re Hydrangeas.
Here’s an easy way to dry them.

First, find yourself a Hydrangea bush.  If your neighbors have one and you don’t… make friends with your neighbors.

Go ahead and clip the flowers that have opened up.

Strip the leaves off of the stem.

Now you’re ready to dry your Hydrangeas.  It’s super difficult.  Are you ready...?

Put them in water.    That’s it.

If you try to dry a Hydrangea without leaving the stems in water, it will look like this.

  

However, if you simply put the stems in water and let the stems slowly suck up the water, it will look like this when it’s done drying.

Which do you like better?
This one? or this one?   


For whatever reason, if the flower dries slowly, still slurping up a little water as it dries, it seems to retain its shape and color.

For years.
 
This arrangement right here...?






















I've had this urn of dried Hydrangeas for about 2 years now.  They are white ones from my yard and as they dry, they take on a greeenish hue.  I prefer lighter colored Hydrangeas when drying them, but that’s just personal preference.

Using an empty jar or vase, I fill it with water then put the shortest stems along the edge of the vase...

...then stick the longer stems in the middle. I want the arrangement to look full while it's drying, but I don't want the blooms to be smushed. (That's a technical floral designer term: smushed)
Just make sure that all of the stems are well covered by water.

In this case, I pop the jar into a pretty vase and I will leave it just like this. When the full jar of water is empty, chances are that the flowers are dried and ready to be used. (If they are NOT dried, keep adding water until they are.)

This will sit, just like this, for a week or so.  Then I’ll have dried Hydrangeas.  Easy peasy.

By the way, I am a contributor today over at SAS Interiors' post about spray paint tips from the pros.
(I love that someone considers my fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants methods to be professional!) Please go check it out for some truly great advice. And mine's there too.


Pin It

We Want To Know Wednesday #6

For real... I honestly am digging out from 4 days worth of un-done laundry. I'm grateful for a writing prompt!


The four ladies behind We Want To Know Wednesdays, ( Seriously Shawn, Dandelion Wishes, Confessions of an Impulsive Addict and The Johanson Journey   )  have asked the following questions:

1.} What must you do before you go to bed at night?
Handsome Hubby claims that I don't have a bladder, I just have a "wide spot" so take a guess at what I must do...
2.} What is one thing you must snack on at the theater?
I don't usually eat snacks at the theater.  I especially don't eat popcorn...which would make me thirsty... which would necessitate getting a drink... which would make me miss part of the movie. (See question #1)
3.} Before going on vacation what must you do?
Besides the minutia and logistics of leaving for vacation...? In all honesty, just let me pee one more time before we get in the car/get on the plane.  (Are you sensing a theme here?)
4.} What is one thing you must do every day?
Most days, I really need to talk to my mom.  It will be very bad if I don't get a cup of coffee in the morning, and it really would be in everyone's best interest to make sure I get a glass of wine each night.   But mostly, I need to tell my family "I love you" every day.
5.} Is there something you do that must be done in a particular order?
I've mentioned before that I have a few idiosyncratic tendencies, but I don't consider myself OCD.  I'm just your garden variety control freak... nothing exciting.   Nothing jumps out as Rain Man-ish to me  as far as a particular order.   
Is my way the best way to do something?  
Yes, usually.  
I can't help it.

Back from Austin, with an old story. New stories will be coming soon.

I had an amazing weekend in Austin, TX!  It is a fabulous city, and fortunately we had a FABULOUS hostess to show us around and make sure we had an amazing time.  Thank you to Becca at The Texas Darlings!

L-R Jenny Kate, Impulsive Addict, Seriously Shawn, Me, Jen from Harried Mom of 4 and Becca

photo credit: Becca

The best part of this trip was that it was like we had known each other our whole lives and that we had spent time together on many previous occasions.  It. Was. Awesome.   I'll be editing pictures (and doing laundry, etc) and will post them soon.

In the meantime, please accept a recycled post from March 9, 2010.  It's about a lady I met in the grocery store who doesn't understand the concept of time zones....

I had to run into Target over the weekend to pick up a birthday gift for one of Grant's little buddys. I figured since I was there, I should grab a few gallons of milk too.
And a frozen pizza.
Oooh, and paper towels.
And some juice boxes...

As I cruised down one of the aisles, I noticed that some of the granola bars were on sale AND you got a Target gift card if you bought five boxes. While I stood there looking at the display and choosing which flavors I wanted, a woman came up to me and began to inspect the contents of my cart.

She was probably in her early to mid 60's. She had on a cute little outfit with coordinating jewelry and her make-up was nicely done. A sharp contrast to my jeans & t-shirt, lack of make-up and my ratty looking pony tail... (My point? I probably wouldn't have struck up a conversation with me.)

Lady peered into my cart as if she would be quizzed on the contents later on. Lady looked from my cart to the display and back again. "Are these good?" she asked, indicating the box of Quaker Chewy Granola Bars in my cart. I explained to her that they are a bit on the sweet-side for me, but I was buying them for school lunches and my boys like them quite a bit.

I let her know that my personal favorite were the Fiber One bars with anti-oxidents.

Lady: "Oh! So they make you go potty?"
Me: "Well, no.... they are made with fiber, not with Ex-Lax...."
Lady: "My son is going on an airplane trip tomorrow morning and I want to get him some snacks for the plane. I don't want him to need to go to the bathroom on the plane."

Me: (chuckling a little) "Well, they certainly don't kick in that fast. I like them because they taste good."

Lady proceeds to ask my opinion about every other brand and variety of granola or cereal bar on the shelf, including Pop-Tarts. I give her my opinions. I suggest flavors and brands that are good, but when she repeatedly asks me for one that I like I repeatedly answer that I like the Fiber One bars.

Lady wonders if her son will get peanuts or other snacks on the plane. I joke about checked luggage needing to buy its own ticket these days and the cutbacks in on-board service. "I don't want him to be hungry." she says.
Me: "Um, ma'am, uh, how old is your son...?"

Lady: (giving me a look that quickly lets me know that she thinks I'm a moron) "Honey, look at me! How old do you think my son is?!"

Now this is dangerous territory.
I want to say "Based on how you look, I'd guess he's in his 40's; but, based on how you're acting, I'd guess he's 8 or 9..."
Fortunately, she answers her own question. Her son is 43.

She switches back to her concerns about the Fiber One bars and the lightning fast poo poo she thinks they will produce. "I just don't want those kicking in on the plane." I ask her how long his flight is. She tells me that it's about 7 hours.

Lady: "Yep, he's leaving out of Los Angeles tomorrow morning around 9:00 and gets in to Missouri about 3:30, so about 7 hours..."
Me: (Still hung up on the fact that she thinks a Fiber One bar will produce insta-poop) "Is it a direct flight?"
Lady: "Yes."
Me: "Oh, well gosh, it's about a 5 and a half hour flight from L.A. to New York, so Missouri is probably only about 4 hours or so."
Lady: "No, it's a 7 hour flight. He leaves at 9:00 and gets in at 3:30."
Me: "Missouri is 2 hours ahead of California, so it's really only like 4 and a half hours."
Lady: "Yes, but 9 to 3:30 is 7 hours."

(It is at this moment that I begin to realize I am dealing with Looney McSlowbrain from the Tribe of Stubborness. Does that stop me from continuing down this wacky rabbit hole of time travel? Of course not.)

Me: "But the actual travel time is probably just over 4 hours or so."
Lady: "Yes, but he leaves at 9 and gets there just after 3:30..."
Me: "I know, but that is due to the time change. In reality, he will only be on the airplane for about 4 hours."
Lady: "He leaves at 9 and gets there at 3:30. That's 7 hours."
Me: "Yes, but that's just because he'll land at local Missouri time, and he'll just set his watch ahead two hours."
Lady: "Well, yes I know he'll have to change his watch. I just don't want him to go without a snack that long, and I don't want to give him those fiber bars, because, you know... "

(Looking rather thoughtful, she pauses for a moment) "...Although the flight back is much shorter."

I open my mouth to respond.
Then close it.
I open it.
Close it.

I'm sure I look like a fish out of water, gasping and flopping on the dock. I just have no response for this.

"You know what, Ma'am? I bet the Quaker Chewy Bars are the perfect snack after all."

Lesley's Rocky Road Bars

I'm on my way back from Austin right about now, probably thinking about my great weekend and wishing they still gave you snacks on the plane.    

I invited Lesley from Fabulously Flawed to do a guest post today and share her amazing Rocky Road Bars with you.   

She's hilarious and irreverent (which are characteristics I absolutely adore in people) but she also can whip up some great crafty items, like this cool key hook made out of a book and a clothing hanger (seriously!) and managed to make a cute, fuzzy scarf, even though she claims she can't knit.  She even has an etsy shop with amazing jewelry...  

Also?  She quotes lyrics from The Smiths at the bottom of her blog.  How cool is that?

Hi guys! 

I'm Lesley from Fabulously Flawed.

You know that whole idol worship thing that we're not supposed to do?

Golden cow figures. Anything phallic. Statues of Mary crying blood.

Bieber.

I'm totally going to hell in a hand basket because I am very, very guilty of worshiping the ground that Miss Vivienne treads upon. 

So when she asked if I could do a guest post to return the favor she did for me, guest posting at my blog a few days ago, I was thrilled at the thought!

Before I go anywhere with this, just know that I would not share a recipe with you unless I honestly believed with every fiber of my being that you would love it. I'm not one of those chicks that adds salsa to Kraft Dinner and tries to pass it off as My Secret Mexican Macaroni Recipe.

Nuh uh, if I am going to encourage you to try something it's because it's good. Really good.

This is Miss Allison.

Miss Allison loves to bake.

 She's not big on eating sweets but she sure likes to make 'em!

So, when I told her that we were going to be making Rocky Road Bars, she just about screamed. This is because this recipe is one of the only recipes I have that I let her handle every step of ( besides putting them in the oven ).

This is it. 

The best recipe in the world.

I'm telling you, if and when you make these, you will be calling me thanking me.

 Yumminess like you wouldn't believe.

Rocky Road Bars

2 cups of graham crumbs

3/4 cups of margarine

1 1/2 cups of shredded coconut

1 1/2 cups of chopped walnuts

1 300 gram package of milk chocolate chips

1 1/2 cups of mini marshmallows

1 300 ml can of sweetened condensed milk

3 or 4 squares of melted semi sweet bakers milk chocolate

I'll tell you now, this is a fattening mess. But duh, you read the ingredients so like, you know this.

Preheat oven to 350 F. Mix the crumbs and the softened margarine together. Press the mixture into a 13 x 9'" greased pan.

Sprinkle the coconut all over the place.

Then sprinkle the nuts all over the place. And the same with the chocolate chips.

Then, carefully carefully, carefully...

I'm kidding. Don't be careful. Just put those mini marshmallows all over that mess.

Now you get to drip and ooze that gooey condensed milk all over your sugary messiness. It should look something like this.

Cook it. 30 minutes later take it out.

Note: Wear oven mitts. 

If you don't you will burn your pretty hands and then you'll have trouble picking up food and brushing your hair and typing a letter to Santa. And you know, there'd be pain.

Oh and melt that baker's chocolate. 2 or 3 minutes in the microwave should do it. Don't let it burn. Now drizzle that melted chocolate over your nom noms like so.

From this angle that 2" square looks bigger than Alli's head!

Eat.

And eat.

And eat.

Duuuuude! They are so good!

Happy baking! Muah!

~♥~

Thanks for sharing this delish recipe with us.  I think I got another dimple in my thigh just reading it!  Yum!