Not quite trash to treasure, but I left it better than I found it.

~~~ UPDATED May 31st ~~~~
Updated for Thrifty Decor Chick's Goodwill party. Click here for amazing thrift store transformations.

~~~ UPDATED May 28th ~~~~
The Nester is hosting Lampapalooza and I wanted to participate. This post is about ModPodge projects, but I re-did my chandelier shades for it. Click here to go see amazing transformations at the Nesting Place.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The lovely and talented Xazmin, author of This Is The Year, is providing us an opportunity to showcase our artsy-crafty sides. Fun to do anytime, but this is with Mod Podge, one of my favorite mediums I will use in an attempt to turn crap into a craft project...

And? It's cheap and easy, so if I don't like it, I haven't committed a lot of time (bad enough) or money (yikes! worse!) to the project.

Like most frugal/crafty Mommies, I love Goodwill, Target clearance sales and yard sales.

This was a Goodwill find. It was a dollar. (Actually, I think I over-paid. It's apple green with a damn cow on it for crying out loud.)


This is what it looks like now. Due to my freakish inability to throw away even a scrap of paper, I already had everything I needed.



I hated the lampshades on the chandelier in our dining room. The ones I liked were about $20 a piece (multiplied by 6? Um, I don't think so!) I found these lovelies at the thrift store yesterday for $2 a piece. Much better.



I was hurrying because I wanted to post them in time for Xazmin's Mod Podge event, so I am actually quite unhappy with the lopsided, wavy way the trim was applied to the bottom.

(If anyone asks, I'm going to tell them I did these while I was drunk. Then they'll be impressed that I managed to keep the rest of it together OK.)



This project is my favorite. Orchids last forever and I don't kill them anywhere near as quickly as I kill the other houseplants. This little tin was at the thrift store. It was a dollar as well.


I glued on little wooden feet, painted them and the trim with black paint and added some of the aforementioned paper I cannot throw away. Added an orchid. All done.

Thank you, Xazmin, for reminding me to take the time to be crafty. Please head over and be inspired by the amazing projects others have done.

Besides the fact that there isn't enough bleach in the world to fix this....

I have a personal preference regarding going barefoot. Personally, I'm not a fan. My feet always feel gross when I go barefoot. I know there are others who feel differently. My husband, for example, who seems to think that the children's feet will be better off (orthopaedically speaking) if they go barefoot more often.

I do not make people take off their shoes when they come into the house. (Tip: oils from your feet can actually make your carpet look bad faster than shoes' wear and tear...)

If you want to walk around the house in clean socks, I'm OK with that. DO NOT WALK AROUND OUTSIDE IN YOUR SOCKS. (I don't care if you're just running out to the driveway to grab the paper, etc.)

Here is what happens when you don't quite go barefoot, but don't have your shoes on either:

aaaggh.
And yes. These socks were a nice, new, bright white at the beginning of the evening.

~~~~~UPDATED TO ANSWER the "HOW?!" QUESTION~~~~~
We at the home of our friends, having dinner. They have a trampoline out back for the kids. No shoes allowed on the trampoline. However, since the adults were in the house having wine and conversation, I hadn't noticed that the activities had gone from the trampoline, to the basketball court, and that Grant was in his socks the whole time. I am not kidding. He did this to BRAND NEW SOCKS in 4 hours!

Before theatrical, effeminate Adam Lambert.... there was this guy.

Seen it. (yawn.)

And yes, there was a time when I did have the t-shirt.

There is a Shock & Awe pedicure available as well.

I am the only girl in this house.

These are not my hands....

The owner of these hands has been repeatedly reminded that nail care is part of basic hygiene. (And by nail care, we mean keeping the fingernails clipped neatly, so that dirt cannot accumulate under them, other brothers are not sliced open when playing basketball with you, etc.)

The owner of these hands has repeatedly received empty threats that his nails would be painted pink if he continued to grow them out longer than mom's.

The threat is empty no longer.

1 hour with pink nails has accomplished what years of nagging has not been able to do. Who knew?

I am smarter than the federal government.

I am still in a bit of a tizzy about the stupid Air Force One, low-flying, NYC panicking, photo op.
If you really, really, really want a photo of Air Force One with the Statue of Liberty in the background, there are two ways to do it:

1. The above mentioned fly-over. Cost? $328,835 (not to mention political fall-out)

2. PhotoShop. Cost? About $75

Idiots.

I made a Splash? Really?!

alluring: to entice by charm or attraction
amusing: giving entertainment
bewitching: to attract as if by the power of witchcraft
impressive: having the power to excite attention, awe, or admiration
inspiring: having an animating or exalting effect

Becca from The Texas Darlings thinks my blog is all of these things (she is very, very pregnant and was having a peanut chicken/spring roll/vanilla ice cream hallucination at the time, I am sure) and gave me this Splash Award.

amazed: filled with wonder
grateful: appreciative of benefits received
not sure if she's worthy: Vivienne

However, I am certain that I am inspired, impressed, bewitched and amused by these alluring blogs:
{aefilkins}
Ups-A-Daisy
All That Is Good
320 * Sycamore
Visions of Sugarplums

Please go check these blogs out. I read them everytime they post something and am always happy that I did!

Louis Caldera: Dipshit Directory of Photography.

OK. So on Monday, a 747 and a fighter jet scared the crap out of people in NYC by flying way low around the city and up and down the Hudson River. Fearing a repeat of September 11th, people fled their offices in a panic.

Why were these planes flying around? No, not terrorists.

The White House was doing a photo op. They needed to "update the file photos" of the President's plane and wanted American landmarks in the shots.

Really? Are you serious? Update a photo of a plane?! Is Air Force One getting back into the dating scene and needed a new profile picture? Is it trying to get a modeling job? Is it trying to get a jump on its Christmas card photo?

Also? Why not, I don't know... notify the authorities in NYC that you were going to pull this stupid stunt, so that they weren't ready to call in first responders, set up blood donation sites and call the Red Cross? Idiots!

Aside from the fact that this administration isn't keeping the lessons learned on 9/11 on the front burner as much as I would like (and I say this as a Democrat!) I would like to know how much did this stupid stunt cost the tax payers!? Is this really a high priority? We're bailing out banks and insurance companies, people are losing their jobs and their homes left and right. Oh, and we're on the verge of a swine flu pandemic, but lets not worry about that stuff... We need new pictures of a frikkin' plane. Again: How much did this cost?

And! And? With memories of 9/11 still fresh, even 7 years later, why would anyone think it's good PR to have a picture of a plane flying close to buildings?

Why not highlight the situation in Darfur by having a picture of the President eating a cheeseburger in the middle of a refugee camp?

How about a picture of the President touring the smoking ruins of South Carolina homes with a marshmellow on the end of a stick?

There are some images that when you put them together they become insensitive and stupid. Congrats White House on wasting taxpayer money, scaring the shit out of people, alienating local governments and showcasing your stupidity.

Here's your award.

I'm not worthy! (But I'll take it! Thanks!)

Jen, at Harried Mom Of Four (something that sure sounds like me, except she has it waaaay tougher. Her 4 are all little and her husband travels a lot for work...) This SuperHero of a woman? (This is the crazy part..) She gave me an award.

Well Jen, thanks a bunch and right back at ya. You know who else has a super blog?

Tanielle at the Polka Dot Daisy - she covers a little bit of everything and does it with warmth and humor.

Mama Face at the Blog-Ignoramus - she takes quirky right up to the point of neurotic, but doesn't quite cross the line. I found her blog only yesterday and am a huge fan.

Kelly at Housewife Savant - I think she may very well be like the Crazy Aunt at the family picnic... the one you watch closely because you know she'll do something wacky or say something really funny at any moment. (And if she doesn't, the picnic wasn't a success...)

and...

Libby at Twirl and Taste - she is my polar opposite. She is refined, gentle and oooozes Southern Charm (my word - I doubt that Miss Libby has ever even used the word ooze.) She is an amazing cook and is so graceful and hospitable that I feel personally welcomed every time I visit her blog.

Please take the time to read through these blogs. You'll laugh, you'll feel warm and fuzzy and inspired, and you'll want a mint julep!

I've fallen and I can't get up. (And I don't know what to make for dinner, either!)

Rare is the evening where I have pre-planned a dinner menu. Rare is the evening when I haven't just thrown together leftovers or stood in front of the fridge at 5:00 in a complete panic. (Or worse: stood in front of the fridge at 5:00, slack jawed, glassy eyed and muttering to myself like an idiot.)

Certain days (like today, where I painted two bathrooms, chased Grant around, did my mommy/wifey things, etc.) I can feel a bit, um, overwhelmed. There are also certain days where I feel like the biggest fraud of a home-maker.

Often those days go together like Domino's and the delivery guy... like peanut butter and jelly (for dinner! yay!)... like scrambled eggs and failure...

It is on those days where I happily cheat. I cut corners. I take the easy way out. Thank you, thank you, thank you for Chicken Chili!

My dear friend, Jen, made her version of this for me and I demanded the recipe. (I may or may not have ridden her like a pony until she gave it up.....) I eventually tweaked it to the point that I now have a version of my own and consider it to be my recipe... but I must always give Jen the nod she deserves, because she started it all. (And she may or may not still have marks from my riding crop on her butt...)

This chili is more like a tortilla soup, but a bit thicker. It is incredibly forgiving. Translation? You can't screw it up.

It freezes beautifully, and I always make a triple batch and freeze it for later. Nights like tonight? I pulled it out of the freezer at 6:00 and had it ready to serve by 6:30.
Yay!

Oh! And also? It's very high in protein and very low in fat.
(Updated 4/29/2009 to participate in Extreme Makeover: Me Edition's request of the week: Healthy Recipe. Go here for more healthy recipes.)

Chicken Chili
In a large stock pot, throw:
3 3/4 cups chicken broth
3 cups water
2 cans white beans (15 oz, drained)
2 cans black beans (15oz drained & rinsed)
2 cans pinto beans (15 oz drained)
2 cans corn kernals (15 oz drained)
2 medium yellow onions, chopped
2 cans drained diced tomatoes (15 oz.)
6 crushed cloves garlic
1 24 oz jar of salsa (I like Vons' brand "Safeway Select Chipotle Salsa")
2 1/2 pounds chicken thighs (I try to use boneless skinless thighs and sometimes I use chicken breasts or leftover chicken)

Stir until boiling, let simmer 25 minutes, remove chicken. When cool, pull chicken off bones and put back into chili.

Toss in the following and stir:
1/3 cup chopped cilantro
1/3 cup chopped parsley
1 Tbsp salt
1 Tbsp cumin
1 to 2 Tbsp oregano

Simmer, uncovered, for an hour or two.

(To be completely honest, I never measure these ingredients anymore... it's just kind of to taste.) I top with grated cheddar or jack cheese and a dollop of sour cream. Serve with tortilla chips, or serve over rice.

Freeze leftovers for the next time you have a crazy day and need a quick dinner.

When I say that this is what's for dinner, all 4 of my kids and my husband say "Cool!"

That's the same as 4 stars in my book.

Please check out more recipes at Balancing Beauty And Bedlam, My Chihuahua Bites, Learning Together Hand In Hand, and Blessed With Grace.

Saint Conner of the Couch Cushions.

This weekend, Conner ratted Grant out because of his horrible behavior at Sunday School. After reading some of the comments about this post, I felt it necessary to illustrate just how bad Grant must have been acting in order for Conner to tell on him.

Grant loves all of his brothers, but he has a special affinity for Conner. Since he was a baby, Grant gravitated towards Conner. He was the only brother who treated Grant like a person, not just as a little plaything.

Grant sits on Conner to watch TV.

(This photo was taken this past Friday...)

Grant takes food right off of Conner's plate.

The point is this: Conner clearly is very tolerant of his baby brother. Sunday School must have been pretty darn bad.

This is the grown-up's version of recess.

Whenever somebody invites me to play with them, I take them up on it. (Unless you're inviting me to play video games, or watch episodes of Dr. Who with you. Count me out...)
Usually I am invited to do things like build a marble run or play with the legos. Last week Grant told me to stop my emailing and come do shadow puppets with him. No argument here. He was right... it was more fun and more important.

I was invited to play in Blog-Land. Nutshell Berry "tagged" me to answer some questions. Here goes:

1. What is your current obsession? At the moment it is blogging. I've had this blog for about a year, and it is only recently that it occurred to me there were other bloggers out there with interesting things to say. (Not narcissistic, just a lack of curiosity and busy.) Now I am a faithful reader of lots of them.

2. Which item of clothing do you wear most often? Besides my favorite pair of jeans, I live in my Brooks Ariel shoes.
A few years ago I decided to break in a beautiful pair of plaid pumps so I could comfortably wear them that weekend. How did I try to do this? By wearing them to High School back to school night. (You know, where you have your kid's schedule and have to rotate classes just like they do? I had no idea I would be running from one side of campus to the other, several times, while under a 4 minute time limit.) I pulled tendons in my foot and had to wear these running shoes practically every single day in 2008 in order for the tendons to heal. I am on my second pair and am having to relearn how to wear heels.

(See? Even 2 years later, how cute are these?)

3. What's for dinner? Don't know. It's not close enough to dinner time for me to panic and throw something together made out of leftovers from the weekend.

4. What are you listening to? I'm embarrassed to say, but I am letting Grant watch the Wonder Pets while I type this. (see #1...)

5. Say something about the one who tagged you. Nutshell Berry (who, if she has her real name listed anywhere in her profile, I missed it) lives in South Carolina and has lots of varied interests and writes about a little bit of everything. What I think is the most cool? She has deer that come into her yard.

6. Favorite vacation spots? My family has been going camping in Markleeville, CA for more than 40 years. I love it there and it is one of my favorite places in the world. It is an 11 hour drive, but the journey is part of the vacation, with traditional stops along the way. I looove tradition. (I also feel like I am on vacation whenever we go to our cabin, and it is just a 2 hour drive.)

7. What am I reading right now? I just finished reading Lisey's Story by Stephen King, The Opposite of Love by Julie Buxbaum, and Girls In Trucks by Katie Crouch. At the moment I am looking for a new book and am re-reading Shopoholic Takes Manhattan because I am too lazy to get my ass over to the library.

8. Four words to describe myself. Critical, loyal, outgoing, opinionated.

9. Guilty pleasure? Puttering around on a weekend morning, watching a rerun of something, drinking coffee, wasting time until it's noon...

10. First spring thing to do? Take down the outdoor Christmas lights. (Kidding!) I get the itch to start cleaning and organizing.

11. What do I look forward to ? Those moments when nothing is planned, yet everything comes together perfectly. Whether it is an impromptu BBQ with friends, a day spent running errands with Handsome Hubby, when dinner is over, but the whole family lingers around the table talking and laughing. (Spontaneity should never be confused with rolling with the punches when things don't go as planned. I'm super bad at that.)

Now the game states I need to pass these questions on to others whose blogs I admire.
Please go visit:
Amber at {aefilkins}
Maridith at The Procrastinator Crafter
AndreaLeigh at My Chihuahua Bites
Connie at The Young and The Relentless
Macey at Living In France

Kelly at Housewife Savant
and because she cracks me up with every post she writes
Shawn at SERIOUSLY.

Can a kid get expelled from Sunday School?

We are shopping for a new church. The one that we had been going to is in our old neighborhood (no longer very convenient to get to) and I wanted the guys to make friends and to get involved in a church where they would actually see those kids during the week... at school, around the neighborhood... wherever.

When the pastor retired last June, we just kind of stopped going there. I've been keeping my eye out, but not actively searching. I'm not sure if it is the blogs I've been reading or just that it's weighing on my heart, but now I'm actively looking.

There is a little starter church that meets in the community room at a park around the corner. Perfect. We gave it a try this morning. As we approached the park, we saw that a carnival that had been there yesterday was actually a weekend event and they were setting up again for the day....rides, games, booths, a band, BBQ and a Big! Giant! Slide!

Well of course as we were walking to the church service, Grant spied everything and was hopping with excitement about the slide. The slide! The slide! The slide! We told him, "Possibly after church, but we'll have to wait and see."

We went into the community room, checked things out and took Grant to the Sunday School room. Unfortunately, the Sunday School room had a beautiful view of the slide. Handsome Hubby gave Grant a very stern warning about behaving himself and basically if he didn't shut up about the slide, it wasn't going to happen for him at all. Grant said he understood and would be a good boy. Devin joined us for the adult service, but Conner and Mitch opted to stay in the Sunday School room with Grant.

After the service, I went to pick up the kids. Grant proudly presented me with a construction paper bookmark that had a bible verse and Grant scribbles on it. A frustrated Conner presented a sequential list of infractions that Grant had committed during Sunday School.
Conner's List, as written:

1. Screams "Be Quiet!"
2. Hides behind chair during music
3. Says "I'm gonna throw up" during the songs
4. Pretends to sleep
5. Very big yawn
6. Kicked Mitch in the shin
7. Big yawn again
8. Tried to spit on me
9. Made pig noises
10. Doesn't pay attention
11. Sighed deeply
12. Had to be reminded not to multiple times
13. Kept leaving group
14. Tried to escape

Needless to say, Grant did not get to go on the slide. In fact, he had to come home and take a nap (something he never does) because he was acting like such a bratty baby.

We had already come to the decision that this church was not the one for us, but Grant clinched the deal. We don't think the Sunday School teacher would take him back again.

Little booger.

Long Beach 24 Hour Fitness: adding anger to my work-outs since 2002.

Happy To Design has suggested that on weekends (when Blog-Land is slow) we bloggers should republish a favorite post. Being as everyday there are new readers finding us, (just as we are becoming new readers ourselves) perhaps weekends are a great opportunity to reach back and bring a favorite post from the past into the present.

While I think most of the posts featured on Happy To Design will be about home decor, etc.,
the post I've chosen is an open letter to my gym. (Which I no longer belong to.) I hope you enjoy reading why. (And why if you see me at a gym near you, do NOT chose a machine near me, as I am clearly a cranky exerciser!) This was originally published on June 25, 2008.

Enjoy! (Or not. No one listens to me anyway.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yay me! I made it to my spin class this morning! I was only there for an hour, but an hour was enough to get a good workout.... and be reminded of every single thing that bugs the crap out of me!

This location is the red-headed step child of the 24 Hour Fitness (ahem) family. It was formerly the Sports Connection (or Sports Erection, depending on which team you batted for). When 24 Hour bought it and dubbed it a "Sport" club (that's supposed to be the best kind with the best stuff) one would think that upgrades were on the way. No? Oh, OK, well routine maintenance on the equipment that's already there, right? No? Oh, OK well, then this is a silly question... um, what are you doing with my dues...?

An open letter to the Powers That Be. (in no particular order)
My Bitch List:

Spin bikes.
If they were hand-me-down bikes from another club when we got them more than 4 years ago, shouldn't we spring for some new ones? If you can no longer repair these rusted, squeaky, rickety bikes because "they don't make parts for them any more" I think we should get new bikes... because the Scotch tape and bubble gum you're using to hold them together isn't working anymore.
(BTW - I no longer believe you that our new bikes are in a storage facility, waiting to be shipped to us. There is no Area 51.)

Hey! By the way! I do want to thank you for spending the money to put a Starbucks Coffee Station in the weight room. I think that's what everyone craves after a strenuous work out: a hot cup of joe. Idiots.

Treadmills & Ellipticals.
Have you noticed that these are incredibly popular machines? Yes? Then why are so many broken down? Also, why are all of your employees waiting by the door, hoping for a new member, instead of helping out the members you already have?

Rules.
Please enforce your own rules.
You guys posted the "20 Minute Limit on Cardio when there is a line"signs everywhere. Don't tell anyone, but when someone on a treadmill has covered the time read-out info with their towel? They've gone over the 20 minutes and are ignoring the people waiting in line.
They're cheating.
If your employees aren't aware of this tactic, they are headless. If they do, why don't they help? Really, is it fair that I have to be the Gym Policeman? I have no problem doing so, but I guarantee you it won't be nice and diplomatic if I have to do it.

The Cleaning Guy.
I've heard that there is a crew that does nothing but paint the Golden Gate Bridge. They start at one end and paint their way over to the other side. Once they get there it's time to start over again. Um, is that what Cleaning Guy does... but with the mirrors? Why did you only arm him with Windex? Why not a vacuum, a mop, some anti-bacterial cleaner and some rags? I once counted 38 days that a dusty bobby pin was on the floor in the spin room. 38 days!! Why are there dust bunnies in the Group Exercise room that are the size of tennis balls?

Those are just a few of the things that 24 Hour Corporate should fix.

I have some other issues that could have only been fixed by proper parenting and/or birth control.

• Did you sweat all over the equipment? See people carrying around those white terrycloth rectangles? It's called a towel. You use it to wipe down the equipment after you've rubbed your sweaty body all over it. If I wanted to boost my immunity, I'dl do it by getting an extra shot of Vitamin C in my smoothie, not by rubbing your bodily fluids all over myself and hoping for the best.
• When you're on a treadmill (and whether there is a wait or not) it is not OK to leave it going at 6 mph, with your stuff on it while you go to the restroom.
• Do not buy your work-out clothes at the Spearmint Rhino Exotic Dancer's Outlet. Do not wear GIANT chandelier earrings with said work-out clothes. Do not wear a bikini top to weight-lifting class (especially if you look good in it, Shakira Twins, because the other women in the class want to hurt you.)
• Neon bike shorts? Should never have left the 80s.
• Do not get on a machine and in-between reps have a nice long chat with a friend. Notice the people hovering around you, tapping their feet? They're waiting for the machine you've been hogging for 20 minutes while you catch up on your gossip.
• If there is a sign on the equipment that says it is broken, it is not there simply to screw with you, but because the equipment really is broken. (I'm talking to you Crazy Lily from 9:00 spin) When you try to put it together and use it, you look like an idiot and disrupt other peoples' work outs. (And some people in 9:00 spin have trouble with anger management and may be tempted to get off of their bike and rabbit punch you in the neck.)
• Also Lily? You look really stupid when you are on the elliptical wearing Ugg boots.

Oh there is so much more that bugs me. I'll have to have a gym bitch list 2. In the meantime, I am trying to view my irritation as an adrenaline boost when I want to quit in the middle of a work out.

Anger may not be good for my stress level, but maybe, just maybe it will be good for my ass.

Nadya Suleman: Landscape Architect.

This is a raised planter in our backyard. It is not treated very nicely. Sprinklers don't sprinkle very well here. Dogs hop up there and chase each other around the tree. Sad little agapanthus plants get trampled down.

Grant was up there on the edge, looking like he was thinking of stepping into the planter. (You moms know that look...)

"Grant, please get down from there and don't step into the planter."
"What planter?"
"Right here. This circle."
"Um, hellooo. It's an octagon!"

I stand corrected. Attention all creatures. Stay out of the damn octagon!

Important Women's Health Issue

My friend John just sent this to me in an email.
I've seen it before, and you probably have too, but I think it's important in this stressful day and age to get reminders to look after our health.

Do you have feelings of inadequacy?
Do you suffer from shyness?
Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Margaritas.

Margaritas are the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions.

Margaritas can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything.

You will notice the benefits of Margaritas almost immediately and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live. Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and you will discover many talents you never knew you had.

Stop hiding and start living, with Margaritas.

Margaritas may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use Margaritas. However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.

Side effects may include:

1. Dizziness, nausea, vomiting and/or incarceration
2. Loss of motor control
3. Loss of clothing
4. Loss of money
5. Table dancing
6. Headache
7. Dehydration
8. Dry mouth
9. A desire to sing Karaoke

WARNING: The consumption of Margaritas may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

WARNING: The consumption of Margaritas may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

WARNING: The consumption of Margaritas may cause you to think you can sing.

WARNING: The consumption of Margaritas may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

After careful studies, researchers have determined that red wine and champagne may be interchangeable with the product - Margarita.

Happy Friday everyone!

They're heeeeeere.

Have you ever cleaned a room and then in a matter of seconds it was a total mess again?
Of course you have. Especially if you have kids. Or poltergeists.

I feel like the mom in the movie who is constantly asking her kids to push in their chairs when they leave the table.



Have you ever walked by something and done a double-take? Of course you have. Especially if you have kids.

What. The. Hell?

Gray on pewter.

I almost missed it, being as I am old and I no longer trust my eyesight.

Yep. There is a car stuck onto the side of my lamp.

The vein in my forehead was about to put in an appearance (the physical warning that Screechy Mommy is on her way) but I quickly realized the car was magnetic and therefore was not glued to my lamp.

I left it there.

What's the point of removing it? The poltergeists will just put it back on the lamp again.

Does this mean I can call myself a domestic engineer?

Devin (16 and a half) and my 17 year old niece accompanied me to a store. They cruised around, checking out the bounty of goods that JoAnn Fabrics had to offer.

I found the couple of things I needed and went to the registers to pay. As I finished up my transaction and headed for the door, I said, "Come on kids! We're going!"

Devin caught up with me and said dryly, "Um, I prefer young adult."

I laughed all the way to the car.

Sort of like eBay... but with cops.

With the economy in the crapper, even those people who do not enjoy exploring Goodwill or trolling for red clearance stickers at Target are much more willing to seek out a bargain.

There is an online auction site (similar to eBay or Amazon) that is run by the Police. That's right.... The men in blue, the coppers, the Po-Po.

Propertyroom.com is run by an alliance of police departments across the country. They auction off items seized in raids, property that has been forfeited, and stolen property that could not be reunited with the rightful owners for some reason.

Now before you say, "Thanks, but I already have all the grow lights I need." you should know there are all kinds of items. From jewelry, to tractors, to baseball equipment to plumbing fixtures. All items are examined and appraised, and they have a "no fraud" guarantee. (I feel safe buying from the police...)

Proceeds from the auctions get funneled back in order to help law enforcement. Sounds like a win-win situation to me.

My favorite exchange of the day. (But the day ain't over.)

Grant wanted a corndog for lunch. Doesn't sound too good to me, but OK.

Nuked the corndog, poured the milk, squirted the ketchup, got the napkin, called the child, busied myself in the kitchen.

After a few moments I heard clapping. It was Grant, applauding himself for eating all of the "corn" but leaving the "dog" intact.

"Ew, Grant! That's gross Honey, don't do that."

"What...? The clapping?"

(Gonna have to make a new category for these little gems...)

I do what the iPod tells me.

I'm back, beating my drum, about how important music is when it comes to getting my ass off the couch and onto the treadmill, etc.. (No pun intended with the drum thing...)

The question of the week from Extreme Makeover: Me Edition is this - Which songs or what type of music can get you motivated and moving when you're working out?

Over the last few weeks I've posted a couple of songs that can light a fire under my butt (it's a very small fire) when I am feeling like I want to quit. (Or when there is a war in my head between Able To Breathe and Skinny Jeans, arguing about exactly which one is more important...)

Before I get to some of my favorites, let me just share a valuable lesson I learned when running on Sunday. Is your endurance level decreasing? Is it harder and harder to go the same distance in the same amount of time as you did previously? Yes?

Check and make sure you are not singing along with the music while you're running.** Some people (um, me) may not realize they're doing it, since they can't hear themselves with the headphones in their ears. It can drastically affect your work-outs.

I have songs for running and songs for walking. Here are a few of my favorites:

Running:

Thanks Fr th Mmrs - Fall Out Boy

Anna Molly - Incubus

Oil & Water - Incubus

U + Ur Hand - Pink

Rain - Dragon

Sabotage - The Beastie Boys

Candyman - Siouxsie & The Banshees

Pump It - Black Eyed Peas

Sweat - Oingo Boingo

Helena - My Chemical Romance

Ready To Fall - Rise Against

Walking:

Free - Faith Hill

Talk - Coldplay

Eighties - Killing Joke

Modern Love - David Bowie

Walk On - U2

Subculture - New Order

Knights of Cydonia - Muse

World Destruction - Time Zone

Crush Crush Crush - Paramore

The Hungry Wolf - X

Miss Murder - AFI

I will often hit shuffle on this play list and whatever song comes up, I have to "do" whatever the song is for. (It's tough when I don't get a "walk" song every once in a while.)

These songs motivate me. They have a beat that I can match to my stride. How many times in life does that happen?!

(** I'm sure Pump It probably sounded something like this: huff, puff, DO!, pant, pant, DO!, puff, SHAKE IT, puff SHAKE IT, wheeze, wheeze, GIRL!, puff, OH! OH! OH! pant, OH!....)

Sometimes you need a penis to fully appreciate the situation.

After a rare, delicious dinner out at Taco Surf (the out is rare, not the delicious); the family was piled in the car coming home. A few blocks from the restaurant, a chorus of "eeeeewwwww" came from the back seats. Melodramatic coughing sounds and cries to roll down the windows.

Boys.... That means farts are a big deal. (Gramma O, if you're reading this, sorry - passing gas is a big deal....) These "barking spiders" are revered in a sick way. They love to talk about them. To make them, to rate them, to tell jokes about them. Gas is good, fun entertainment.

Maybe it's a girl thing, but I am not as enamored with these gaseous emissions as the rest of my family.

I began to tell them to settle down, to stop screwing around, the usual.... then it reaches the front seat. Dear Lord! Yes! Roll down the windows! Quick!!!! Be quick!

To misquote Phoebe from FRIENDS, "Good God! This must be what evil smells like!" (from the episode with the "mock-late"...)

In the middle of this hullabaloo, it is little Grant who is proudly trying to make himself heard above the din: "It's me! It's me! That was me! It's me!" Good job brothers. You did such a good job of teaching your little brother the value of a stinky gas bomb that he is shouting to make sure he gets proper credit and recognition for it. oy.

While Grant continues to proudly claim responsibility, the brothers continue to "eeeww!" and laugh. Handsome Hubby, laughing while rolling down the windows says, "Geez. If he could, he would climb it and plant a flag on top!"

I am not sure if I had tears of laughter from that brilliant one-liner, or if my eyes were just watering due to the noxious fumes.

I don't understand these men I live with. And I think they're all quite proud of our little Stinky.

(I am sure that after I went to bed, there was some secret boy ceremony, welcoming the little man into the Brotherhood of Flatulence.)

Ah ha!! Gottcha!

Oh look... it's Not Me.

Foiled by candy wrappers.

Please picture this mess all over the house.
Please imagine bowls, baskets and containers of Easter candy everywhere.
Please also imagine piles of wrappers or those damn little foil wrappers that get rolled into little balls everywhere. (I tell you what - when I find out who is flicking them under the coffee table heads. will. roll.)

Allow me to share a few of the many exchanges regarding the candy and wrappers....

Mom: "Who is throwing these little wrappers on the carpet?"
4 boys and Handsome Hubby: "Not me! "
(Does anyone else have an invisible resident named Not Me?)

Grant: "Can I have a little chocolate egg? "
Mom: "It's "may I" and please ask nicely." (Told ya. Grammar Nazi)
Grant: (heavy sigh of exasperation) "May I please have a little chocolate egg? "
Mom: "Lets fix you some lunch first and then you may eat one. "
Grant: "I don't want lunch. I just want chocolate."

**Note: The above photo is evidence that Grant is reallllly bad at being sneaky. When I wasn't looking, he got the candy anyway. He has a few things to learn about covering his tracks, no?

Mom: "Why are there candy wrappers in the bathroom!? We do not eat in the bathroom!! Why do I need to say things like this!? "

Shortly after that, the cranky-vein on Mom's forehead got so big it made her dizzy and blocked her vision. She tripped over a giant ball of foil and knocked herself out.

When she came to, she felt much better.... because unconsciousness still counts as peace and quiet.

You put de lime in de coconut...

Okey-dokey... Another recipe for Tuesdays at the Table over at My Chihuahua Bites. (Is here where I confess I have to use my spell check for chihuahua? every. single. time. )

We love fish and I make it often. Here is two thirds of a dinner. (You'll have to figure out your third dish...)

Glazed Salmon with Coconut Cilantro Rice.
For the salmon:
4 boneless, skinless salmon filets
1/4 cup teriyaki sauce
1/4 cup hoisen sauce (also in the Asian foods aisle)
juice from 1 key lime
1 Tbsp fresh ginger, peeled and grated (or 1 tsp ground ginger)

Mix ingredients together. Line cookie sheet with foil and place salmon on top. Spoon sauce over the filets. Bake at 375 until desired doneness. (Time depends upon how thick the filets are, your preference, etc.) I bake it until it's kind of starting to flake with a fork, but not totally cooked. Once out of the oven, the fish will continue to cook a little.

For the rice:
In a rice cooker/steamer combine
1.5 cups of rice and about 2.75 cups of water
1 clove of garlic, minced
juice from 2 key limes
1 tsp garlic salt.

When finished steaming, pour rice into a mixing bowl. Toss with 3 Tbsp of butter or margarine. (Important! This keeps the rice from getting too sticky.)
Mix in
1/2 cup of fresh, chopped cilantro
1/3 cup sweetened coconut flakes.

I usually serve this with quick sauteed sugar snap peas or a salad with an Asian dressing.
This is quick and easy. Handsome Hubby and I cooked this one night in less than half an hour. Enjoy!

Really? Why?

Grant:
a) disapproves of the current furniture arrangement.
b) is really cold and opted for couch cushions instead of a blanket.
c) can't leave a tidy room, well... tidy.
d) There is no rhyme or reason to the things Grant does.

You know the answer.

I either need more coffee, or cocktail hour needs to come early today.

I have Housewife ADD today.

I started looking for picture CDs today, thinking I would add a picture from my "wedding" to yesterday's post. While looking, I found other pictures that I wanted to frame. I went to check and see if the frames I was thinking of were where I thought they were. They were not.

While looking for the frames I noticed the dust everywhere. I started to dust. Grant distracted me with something, then I checked my email. Ooh! A comment! I logged on to my blog. I started to read the latest posts from other bloggers.

The phone rang and I walked around while taking the call. I listened to a robo-call from the school district saying that a bomb threat at Devin's high school this morning was a false alarm and we shouldn't worry. I had not heard of the bomb threat, so I worried after the fact. (It's the 10th anniversary of the shootings at Columbine for crying out loud!)

I gathered dirty clothes for laundry while listening to the message. I hung up and realized the dishwasher needs to be emptied. I remembered something else I wanted to add to the laundry and left to get that.

I passed the computer and stopped to check my email. I remembered I was looking for that damn photo CD. I found an unmarked one and inserted it. My laptop decided not to recognize that a disk was in the drive (or out of the drive... or that I hit "cancel 50" million times, or control-alt-delete...) and put up one of those stupid pop up windows that now won't shut down.

I figured I screwed up and clicked on something without reading what it would do and will now frustrate Rich when he comes home and tries to fix it for me... So I better cook something good for dinner. I started to go to the garage freezer to see what to cook and the phone rang. Can I reschedule Conner's orthodontist appointment (which I missed last Thursday because I was in the ER as a precaution to make sure I wasn't having a frickin' heart attack)? Sure. Next Tuesday is fine.

I was on my way to write that down when the dryer buzzer went off. If I don't grab the laundry while it's hot, I spend the rest of the day hitting "touch up" for 20 minutes trying to get the wrinkles out. (I don't iron.) The clothes are laid out neatly but not put away.

I decided to use the boys' computer and realize their room is disgusting. I make a note to myself that everybody gets to clean their room after-school.

I forgot what I was going to do. I survey my domain.... I have a dishwasher that has been partially emptied, laundry that is not quite finished. I have jeans on, but am still in my pajama top. I have dusting that needs to be finished, dinner that's still in the freezer and a computer that is all jacked up. I still don't know where my photo CDs are and now that I have found frameable photographs, I've misplaced the frames.

However, I did get an appointment scheduled, and I did post something on my blog.

My work here is finished.

That torch was getting really heavy...

Gratitude.
I don't often lead with that. Beyond my rants, raves, and the thick layer of sarcasm I really am a girl who counts her blessings... both big and small.

I'm grateful for my children and all the trials, tribulations and joys that come with parenting. On that note, I am also very, very grateful for wine. And Xanax. (Kidding. Kinda.)

I am grateful when I find a great parking space or a T-shirt for $2 on clearance at Target. Grateful for family and friends, grateful for good health...

But I am extremely Beyond Words, Still Pinch Myself When I Wake Up Each Morning, grateful for my Handsome Hubby (HH). I love him more than anything. And it's been a long time coming.

We were in 6th grade together but I don't remember him. (I tell him that he just wasn't very memorable.) We went to different Jr. High Schools and "met" again in our sophomore year of High School. He was certainly memorable by then! I was 15, and I. Fell. Hard.

We dated for 11 months, which is a lifetime at that age. At that age, after 11 months I should have been eligible for alimony and been allocated a 50-50 split of the contents of his locker.... I should have been granted full custody (or at least visitation) of his letterman's sweater (preferably still smelling of his shampoo.)

He broke up with me, stating the need to date other people. I was devastated!
I cried for months. I wouldn't date anyone else. I made it clear that nobody should be dating him (he joked about that at dinner just the other night, heh heh...) Mostly? I pined away. I spent the remainder of my High School days pining away. I still was involved in school. Still went to football games and to dances... but with other guys. Poor, unfairly treated guys whose only crime was that they were not HH.

It was clear to me that my LoveBoat had sailed without me and HH was busy chasing cruise director Julie McCoy around the Lido Deck. I poured my heart out to Doc, Isaac and Captain Stubing. They all had the same advice for me:
"There are other fish in the sea"... "move on"... "it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all"... (FYI - anyone who offered up that little pearl of wisdom got a punch in the neck. Idiots.)

Well. That's what I did. I moved on. I dated other people, ended up engaged and got married. (I even invited HH to my wedding to "show" him I was over him.)

So yes, I moved on with my life and just accepted that I would always have something missing. That I wouldn't ever have that passion, but I would have a nice, comfortable, mini-van kind of love. (I must interject here and now that I have never been a mini-van mom. Fine for some, but I just can't do it!) I would cry myself to sleep every now and then, just because of that void. That "something" that was missing.

I always carried a torch for HH, but took comfort in my stable, non-passionate kind of love marriage. Well if you want to make God laugh, make plans. I thought I was safe in my scuffy slippers of a life, and wound up a divorcee` with 2 little boys.

HH and I grew up in a small town and have a tight knit group of friends. We always knew through the grapevine what was going on with the other. And our timing was always wrong. When my marriage was falling apart, he was just getting married. When his marriage was falling apart, I was in a relationship. Long story short (oh! too late!) our timing was finally right.

We met up again at a HS reunion and started talking and visiting. We tentatively resumed our relationship, older, wiser, and chaperoned by 3 little boys. He tells me that he figured out our split and reconciliation: since everything was so great with Me, his first serious girlfriend, how awesome must everything else out there in Girlfriend Land be?! (He seems sincere enough, so I really do buy this excuse.)

He never proposed. We just knew we were getting married. On a Wednesday he said, "Does Friday night work for you?"

Yes! He had a judge meet us in a park, in view of the jungle gym, so we could keep an eye on the kids. We got married under a tree, wearing jeans and sweaters and ordered Taco Bell for our wedding feast. Six months later we had a big, blow-out party to celebrate and eleven months after that, we had our bouncing baby bundle 'o Grant.

I'm grateful that I have a great marriage, and the peace of mind that comes with it.

I'm grateful that my relationship skills were developed because of and specifically for this man. (Because no one else could put up with me.) I'm grateful that HH knows that there is no one else who could put up with him and he loves me as much as I love him.

I'm grateful that even when we fight (and we totally do) that there is still no one I would rather be with.

I'm grateful that the worst day with him is better than the best day without him.

I'm grateful I no longer have that hole in my heart where true love should be, and if I'm crying myself to sleep it's because my sciatica is flaring up again.

Most of all, I am grateful that God allowed me to appreciate HH more, because I have life without him as a basis for comparison. It's great when hindsight allows you to see what God had planned all along.

Run Forest. Run.

Conner hit a milestone for Running Club. Why they give 6th grade boys anything that is white is beyond me... but good job buddy!

I love it when he makes breakfast. Really, I do.

This is the knife block that sits on my kitchen counter. I am a tidy housekeeper... so what's wrong with this picture?




Did it...

a) develop a bad case of dandruff.

b) get caught in a snow flurry.

c) find itself in the wrong place at the wrong time when Handsome Hubby made everyone pancakes this morning.


The answer (of course) is c.

But that shouldn't surprise anyone, as I think I may have mentioned his cooking style before...

Ixnay on the chain letters, but this swap thing? I'll totally give it a try!

How much fun is Blog-Land!?

There is a blog called Dandelion Wishes and the woman who writes it (Mamarazzi) has organized a Secret Santa type swap, only it's in April. Sign me up. I love surprises! (However, I do like to have some idea that the surrpise is coming, and I do usually like to know in advance what the surprise is....)

This will be more fun that waiting for an eBay package because you don't know what you're getting. Although I have had that happen on eBay too. (That was a bummer.)

Maybe there is a butterfly rehab program.

It's a beautiful day. It's 5:00 and it's 75 degrees with a barely perceptible breeze. Birds are chirping, bees are buzzing and butterflies are flitting about. Ah, spring.

Lets spray paint something!!

I dragged out several of my old frames and my trusty can of "Canyon Black" and began my ugly old frame transformation. As I began painting, I noticed a beautiful butterfly heading my way.... Right through a dissipating cloud of spray paint.

You guys? I got a butterfly stoned.

That poor thing went immediately from a light, beautiful flutter to a kamikaze ricochet. Never have I seen such a sporadic flight pattern. Up, down. High, low. Zig, zag. I've seen drunk people with better coordination.

Now I'm going to have to figure out something else to do with these frames, or every time I look at them I am going to be reminded of that time I corrupted a butterfly. Sheesh.

I'll admit: My TV and reading choices? Not so hip. But I'm OK with that.

I am not Catholic. I don't go to confession. I try my very best to never lie to others but I lie to myself all the time. God help you if I catch you lying to me. (Ask my kids. ugh.)

JennyKate's Spot has a Friday Confessional. I couldn't post a deep secret of mine last week, because I can't promise to stop the behavior. However, I do have a few confessions (or actually, more like admissions) for this week.

1. I have not read Twilight or any of the sequels. I have not seen the movie. I probably will not do either until the hoopla dies down. (Or when the library has a copy back in stock, whichever comes first.)


2. I do not understand the appeal of Desperate Housewives, Sex In The City, Nip/Tuck or the Sopranos. (Sex In The City made me want to crawl in a hole.)


3. Although I don't like the girls on Wisteria Lane, when it comes to The Real Housewives of New York, I am like a rubbernecker at a car crash. (Oh, the shame.)


4. I do not set a good example for my kids because I ride my bike without wearing a helmet, but will squawk like a chicken if I think they do not have theirs tightened enough.


5. A friend loaned me A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle and I had to slog through the first chapter and know already there is no way I can get through one more page of this sucker. I am a close-minded, flat-earther when it comes to anyone telling me I can attain a new state of consciousness. I like my current state of consciousness just fine. I don't care what Oprah says about this book.

There. Five admissions. I'm done until next Friday.

(Oh yeah, and I would rather listen to the entire CD box set of Alvin and the Chipmunks than listen to one single note of Hangin' Tough. I just. can't. do. it.)

No fair!!! You got to be the sommelier last time!!!

Handsome Hubby sent me a link about a new toy on the market.

Playmobil, makers of lots of "lets pretend" preschool toys, has a new one on the market.

Yes.

It's true.

Playmobil has a wine bar.

Maybe if I had been able to play with wine as a kid, it wouldn't be so important to me as an adult...

Mom of the Year? Me? pffft. Not!

I didn't know that strict parenting, a healthy dose of sarcasm and a dictatorial style would get me an award for anything, let alone a mommy one. But Tanielle, of Polka Dot Daisy fame, gave me one. However, there is a condition: I need to get a parenting blunder off of my chest, then I need to list 7 things to remind myself that I am a good mom. (7 is an awful lot, but I'll try...)

Parenting Blunder: Chinese food and bad words

There are so many to name, and so many that I worry will have a profound effect on my guys, but this is the one that truly bugs me the most.

A few years ago we were all hurrying and scurrying around because the elementary school's Open House was that evening. Knowing that the schedule would be tight and cooking dinner would be hectic, I opted for a family favorite: Chinese food from Fortune Cookie's. They deliver for free (at the speed of sound), their chef is a certified nutritionist, and? If you order by 4:00 you get the lunch menu prices, which are half that of dinner prices, and you get more side orders.

Planning ahead, I placed my order at 3:59, knowing that Chinese food keeps well and reheats beautifully... we could break out the chopsticks as soon as we got home. I was getting dressed and ready to go when the food arrived. It was in those styrofoam boxes and rice containers. I asked Devin, then 14, to please put the food in the fridge. He did. Badly.

It appears he shoved it all in the refrigerator, and his main concern was just making sure the door closed. Picture a cartoon or a sitcom, where a character throws something in an already over-stuffed closet, then slams the door shut and holds his back against it to keep it from popping open... Can you see that in your mind?

Now can you see me, dressed in a white skirt and light colored top and ready to go to Open House (which starts in 15 minutes..)? You know those trick cans of peanuts that have fake snakes pop out when you open it? Picture me opening the fridge to grab a sippy cup for Grant. Picture 10 pounds of rice, sweet & sour pork, and Kung-Pao chicken exploding all over me as if it were shot out of a cannon. (A CSI team would have referred to splatter patterns and gun residue...)

In a split second, dinner (and $50) was gone, and I needed another shower and had to be at the school in a few minutes. With all 4 of my children as witnesses, I yelled "aaggh! F***in' Devin!!!"

Am. So. Ashamed.

I don't think they're permanently traumatized. I don't even think they were temporarily traumatized. It was probably more traumatic that I made them all help Devin clean it up while I changed. (I'm unfair that way.)

Blurting. It's a bad parenting plan.

That being said:

7 things that I think I have done well.

(Or at least haven't totally screwed up...)

1. My 3 oldest try to be good, inclusive big brothers to the youngest.
2. The boys have a great appreciation for traditions and family.
3. They have helped with charitable acts and supported causes. (Operation Santa Claus, Relay For Life, etc)
4. They are able to write a proper thank you note.
5. They save their allowance, make lists, set budgets and do their own Christmas shopping.
6. We eat dinner as a family every night, unless Dad has a late meeting or there's a baseball game.
7. They know how to pack their own lunches, put away their clean laundry, have good table manners and never ask "are we there yet?" when we're on a road trip.

They're good guys. They provide great fodder for stories on my blog because they occasionally lose their minds and coordination. Obviously, they come by it honestly.

Thanks Tanielle.

I am in tears and covered in goosebumps. And happy about that.

The Today Show teased with this for an hour and a half this morning. That's really pushing it, because in this house? Come 9:00 a.m. it is a Matt Lauer vs. Dora the Explorer smack down and Matt usually takes a beating. If you haven't yet seen this viral sensation of a video, you need to look at this.

Not later. Now. (Now!)

I will have a better day today because of this video. I tried to find a version that did not have the embedding disabled but couldn't.

Click here.

Now. Are you clicking? Do it now.

I dug and I dug and I unearthed a rare 1980s artifact..

On the tail end of Easter week, it is my tail end that is a concern. I have previously mentioned that I have a Cadbury Mini Egg, um, problem. I also don't go on diets. I just try to eat healthy food and exercise.... you know, the whole, "burn more calories than you take in" principle.

So many friends loooove yoga and /or pilates. I'll be honest. Yoga makes me hostile. After an hour of yoga, I feel like punching someone in the neck. I don't believe in chakras, auras or opening my inner flower. (Whatever the heck that is...) I believe in sweat. I am a cardio/weights person. I want a work-out where I sweat, and good music is essential!!!

Carving out half an hour each day to get on the treadmill is hard to do. Sometimes I don't do it, I mean, it takes forever. (Yet I can have that amount of time go by in the blink of an eye if I'm on the computer. What the...?) What I will need to do post-Easter, is promise myself that each day at 10:30, come hell, high water, or household chores, I am going to be on the treadmill. (If I do P90X on top of that? Bonus!)

Music is my great motivator. Again. I'll repeat: the right song at the right time can push you through the rest of your work-out when you're ready to quit.

My motivation song of the week: Of all the cheesy, one hit wonders that the 80s produced, this is the most under-rated:


I had been searching for this sucker since 1984. YouTube is an archaeological treasure trove of 80s music. Rain by Dragon (circa 1983) perfect for me at 5.2 mph.

It's got a good beat and you can run to it.

Please go check out aefilkens' Extreme Make Over: Me Edition to see other work-out tips....

Art from old wood and an old cow...?

~~~~ Updated July 2, 2009 for the Writer's Workshop at Mama's Losin' It. The prompt is to show something I made. Here ya go.~~~~~

I am a compulsive picture frame buyer. I cannot help myself. I also buy matting, photo paper, and have so many digital photos stored that we needed to get a back-up hard drive because the sheer memory they take up was slowing down the computer.

There is a blog called Reinvented and it is Trash To Treasure Tuesday over there. I love re-do, re-use, re-purpose projects. You can click over there and see what others have done. And heading into yard sale season, there are some great ideas.

I opted for an art project.

When it came time to decorate our cabin, I went for a rustic, California ranch vibe, rather than the bears/moose/lodge look. (That means lots of rough woods, wrought iron and cowhide. Think ranch-hand, not lumber-jack.) Fortunately, I have an extremely difficult time throwing anything away, that includes ugly mats and scraps of cowhide.

These 8 x 10 photos were taken on our property, and I used the "sepia tone" option when I printed them.



I took unfinished wooden frames that I had picked up (8 years ago!) for $1 each in a Michael's clearance rack. They did not have glass or backing. I stained them a very dark brown.



I then cut 4 strips of cowhide from scraps left over from my dresser project. I glued them on top of an existing 11 x 14 mat. (I didn't take before pix, but trust me, the mats were a hideous baby blue and looked like they had been covered in taffeta.)

After the cowhide strips were glued to the mat, I cut some thin balsa wood strips to length and stained them the same color as the frames. Balsa wood is so light that you can cut it with an exacto knife. When the stain was dry, I glued the strips directly over the seams in the cowhide, so I could cover them up.

I bought new glass, added an ornamental conch buckle to the top, placed my photo and created a back out of cardboard and heavy tape. I think the total cost for these 4 pieces was about $15.

Not only do I love how they turned out, it validated my pack-rat tendencies. My husband rolled his eyes, but I knew those frames would come in handy some day!!

Favorite Exchange of the Day (but it's still early.)

I just made Grant his breakfast of choice: wheat toast with grape jelly and a glass of milk. (And a napkin! You forgot my napkin, Mom!)

As I placed these things in front of him, he smiled at me and said, "Thanks, Mom! I'm happy of ya and proud of ya!"

Loosely translated, I think that means he is proud of me for making breakfast and he is happy to have it. Good to know we compliment and encourage one another enough that he is learning to do it too.

Now if I could just do something about him climbing over the arm of the couch.

Snow, Barf & Easter Eggs. Oh my.

A day or two late, our Easter summary. We did not have a traditional Easter Weekend this year.

On Good Friday we went back up the hill for a weekend at the cabin (shower floors to cement in, pipes to be set, etc...) Lo and behold... snow. Just an inch or two, but I got a little taste of what my Mid-West and East Coast friends have been experiencing. My spring flowers didn't seem too much worse for wear though.

Rich got a lot done on the bathroom (of course still not enough that we could, ya know, take a shower, but every little bit helps. )

The Easter Bunny knew to bring the Easter Baskets to the cabin this year. I, upholding my mother's long standing tradition of letting kids pig out on candy, allowed Grant to strap on an Easter Basket Feed Bag. That child must have eaten his weight in chocolate, only pausing long enough to be force fed a banana, before resuming his Cadbury Marathon.

You know what's a really bad idea? To let your kid eat a whole bunch of candy and then take him on a twisty mountain road, descending 6,000 feet in 40 minutes.

You know what happens? They hurl. They blow chunks. They toss their cookies. They pray to the porcelain gods. They spew. They have a technicolor yawn. They lose their lunch. They ralph.

Bless his heart, he warned us before it happened, but the only thing worse than a kid throwing up in a moving car, is a kid throwing up in a stopped car while another vehicle crashes into it on a twisty mountain road. We couldn't pull over... no shoulder on the road... just a cliff. (The next time I fly I'm grabbing about a dozen of those airsick bags and stashing them in the glove compartment. )

See what happens if you miss Easter services!!??

Thankfully, we were on the way to my parents' for Easter dinner and had already planned to go early enough to shower there. Of course I quickly discovered that Devin had packed an Easter outfit that included a Billabong T shirt with a skull on the front, and wore a collared shirt over the top of it.... with a skull on it. Skulls and Easter do not mix. He had to borrow a shirt from Poppa. (So did Rich, who forgot his at the cabin.)

"Hi Mom and Dad! Happy Easter!! Can we hose down our barfy kid, use your showers and then borrow your clothes? Great, thanks!"

No matter what the day brings, you laugh and move along.
Handsome Hubby taking our traditional self-portrait.


The boys and my niece, Raelene, ready for Gramma's Easter Egg Hunt.


OOOOH!!! More candy! How can this be the face of a kid who yarked not more than 3 hours ago...?

oy. Happy Easter everyone.

Morning Glory.

OK Blog-Ladies.... this kind of stuff is just plain mean.

Apparently this is called Keeping It Real and if "tagged" one must immediately take a photo of themselves, right then and there. No putting on make-up, no brushing hair or teeth, etc. Then the photo is posted and someone else gets tagged. Nice.

I don't have photoshop stuff, or access to airbrushing or photo retouching, so I did the next best thing... I had Grant, my 5 year old, take the photo, knowing there was a good chance it would be a little blurry. Unfortunately for me, his photography skills are improving so this isn't as blurry as I'd like. Oh well.


Nice stringy hair and washed out complexion, complete with a set of luggage under each eye. Becca from The Texas Darlings, I may be posting it in late afternoon, but I assure you I did comply with the rules and took it this morning.

I know this game has been going around for a while. Since I am new, I don't want to tag anyone twice. (Because how sucky would that be?!) Please let me know if there is someone who has been left out of this oh, so charming game, and then I'll share the fun.

May I give you a little advice? No? I'm going to anyway.

Every Monday, Kasey at All That Is Good has a post called Friend Making Monday. The idea for today's post is to list the best advice you have ever received.

I don't know that I've ever had an "ah-ha" moment where someone dispensed advice and I took it. You know, the kind of advice where the rain stopped, the clouds parted, and the scales fell from my eyes.

Trust me, I am a giant pain in the ass, and I certainly have had loved ones try to help me by passing on their words of wisdom. I think that advice regarding the big, important stuff was like drops of water on a stone... eventually it left a mark, it just took a long time. (I am half Italian, half Good 'Ole Texan.... oh the stubbornness!)

That being said, I can't point to one particular moment, one specific pearl of wisdom, but I have been given many little bits of advice that make a difference. And that is advice I give to my kids: that the little things add up and they are important. God is in the details.

1. Please and thank you go furthest within your own household.

2. When packing a lunch with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, put a thin smear of peanut butter down first on the jelly "side" of the bread. It keeps the jelly from seeping through and making the sandwich soggy.

3. It is never too early to speak to your kids as if they have adult conversation skills. They're little sponges who can absorb absolutely not just as easily as no! They will have better vocabularies as adults.

4. A sense of humor and faith in God will get you through anything.

5. If you make your bed right away, you get more done throughout the day.

6. You can love your kids and have days (or weeks) when you don't like them, but eventually you will like them again. (This primarily applies to those of us with teenagers...)

7. Always keep your gas-tank filled and emergency supplies and a good pair of walking shoes in your car.

8. Never, ever get so low on toilet paper that you run out. Oh, and the paper needs to come forward over the top of the roll... not down the back, against the wall. (Not advice I received, but simply the right way to do it. I just know.) (And I now have my OCD tendencies under control enough that I don't "fix" the rolls that are wrong at other people's houses...)

9. Know how to cook at least one thing really well.

10. Don't lie and don't suffer people who lie to you.

These little things have made life more enjoyable and less hectic.

It is also comforting to know that if for some crazy reason I did run out of TP in the middle of the night, I could drive to the store with a full tank of gas and laugh while doing it.