Scene: Kohl’s Department Store.
I had just finished standing in a line in order to make a return at the customer service counter. This line began in a walkway with candles and house wares on one side and lingerie on the other. While waiting in line with Grant, my attention had been drawn to the candles, and making sure a certain little person didn’t cause a “you break it, you buy it” situation for me.
I completed my return and had to walk back past the people waiting in line. As I did so, I finally noticed the lingerie. Bras! Buy 2 get 1 Free!!
“Hang on a second, Grant” I say as I peruse the display. (I am desperately in need of new bras… my current ones are every bit as effective as trying to support a baseball with a stretched out rubber band.)
As I look, apparently Grant is looking too. He stands in front of a display of pretty, colorful, lacy, padded bras. He grabs a cup in each hand and while squeezing and massaging, loudly declares: “Oh, Mom! This one is a gooooood one.”
I did not turn to see the faces of the people standing in the line 5 feet behind us.
I did not wait to hear their snickering and whispering.
I removed Grant’s hands from the boobie sling and walked in the other direction, taking the long way around in order to not have to look at anyone’s face.
Gravity is my enemy, but public humiliation makes my boobs sag even more.