Boobies, Ta-Tas and Racks, Oh MY!

Scene: Kohl’s Department Store.
I had just finished standing in a line in order to make a return at the customer service counter. This line began in a walkway with candles and house wares on one side and lingerie on the other. While waiting in line with Grant, my attention had been drawn to the candles, and making sure a certain little person didn’t cause a “you break it, you buy it” situation for me.

I completed my return and had to walk back past the people waiting in line. As I did so, I finally noticed the lingerie. Bras! Buy 2 get 1 Free!!

“Hang on a second, Grant” I say as I peruse the display. (I am desperately in need of new bras… my current ones are every bit as effective as trying to support a baseball with a stretched out rubber band.)

As I look, apparently Grant is looking too. He stands in front of a display of pretty, colorful, lacy, padded bras. He grabs a cup in each hand and while squeezing and massaging, loudly declares: “Oh, Mom! This one is a gooooood one.”

I did not turn to see the faces of the people standing in the line 5 feet behind us.
I did not wait to hear their snickering and whispering.
I removed Grant’s hands from the boobie sling and walked in the other direction, taking the long way around in order to not have to look at anyone’s face.

Gravity is my enemy, but public humiliation makes my boobs sag even more.

Comments

  1. says

    Tee Hee! My 2 youngest girls are obsessed with looking at and commenting on the lingerie section!

    Of course my son has never massaged boob cups and made a comment…but I think it’s a riot that yours did!!

  2. says

    They learn young, don’t they?

    Bra shopping is the bane of my existence. I used to make baby-sitting arrangements so that I could go kid-free, but lately I’ve resorted to buying them online instead.

  3. says

    I have heard this story many times it seems from my friends (well not this SAME STORY, but you know what I meant) but did you nurse your boys?

    I swear…it seems they have even MORE of a fasination/comfort/love/interest…(innocent of coarse!) at this age when they have been nursed. Just asking

  4. says

    Too too funny! If you ever make it to buy some new bras, be sure to wash them on the delicate cycle and lay them flat to dry. The elastic will hold up so much better this way. I worked at Victoria’s Secret almost seven years ago, and the bras I got then are still in almost perfect condition. :o)

  5. says

    I love your kid. He needs to come to the store with me. This is something any store clerk in my town would expect from a visit involving me. : )
    Macey
    PS He’s already a boob man, at 5?! Too funny.

  6. says

    hee hee! I was on a plane once with my whole family and my at-the-time-7-yr-old son grabbed my bra on one boob and said: “aaaallll water and gel”. (which was absolutely true. he must’ve heard me say that to someone at some point). lol.

  7. says

    Too funny! When I was younger, my little brother would always put my bra on his head and say he had ear muffs on:)

    Thank you for stopping by and suggestion Special K with Berries, I love the normal kind, I ll have to add some berries!
    Thank you

  8. says

    Funnnny! Little boys are so cute! I liked reading your list. I am always trying to find lip gloss and so far have only found one I like.

    Have a super day!

    XOXO
    Jen

  9. says

    lol. my son, at daycare last week, was supposed to be apologizing for being a brat boy all day, was standing in front of the daycare owner who was leaning down to meet his eyes…instead he was staring at her exposed red bra with tongue hanging out. he is not even 3-years-old yet hahaha what am i in for? btw, thanks for the great comment on my post.

  10. says

    Is there anything better than being embarrassed by your own flesh and blood?

    Peanut once announced VERY loudly in the restroom. “Ohhh Mommy you gots a string hangin’ from your pribates”! Oh the horror!

  11. says

    Hahahaha too cute! A friend of mine has a little girl, and when they’re in a department store she always wants to hold a bra so she can go “fishing.” Haha

    Kids are funny…

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