Grant is not cooperating. He’s been told to clean up his room. I am not going to do it for him. It actually looks messier each time I check on him. I just gave him a swat on his rear end because he sassed me about it. (Swat, with hand, totally appropriate and more for […]
Archives for May 2009
Overheard at lunch today…
My precious 5 year old has learned a snippet of some inappropriate song. Grant is singing “I looooove feelin’ dirty! I loooove feelin’ cheap! I looooove feelin’ dirty! I loooove feelin’ cheap!” over and over, like a broken record. Jump on into my nightmare. The water’s warm. ~~~~ UPDATE ~~~~~ Just found out what it […]
I’d fire him, but that’s what he wants.
The instructions: Conner, please go hang up your ski jacket. The result. Um, not exactly what I had in mind. I was thinking more along these lines: After yesterday’s lunch money, bike crashing, ripped shorts, “parallel to the park” debacle, I had been hoping the rip in the shorts was small and on a seam. […]
Handsome Hubby drew the short straw this morning.
Conner will not get out of bed in the morning.He has AC-DC’s Back In Black album in his CD alarm clock… Blaring.Nope. He’ll lay there, bleary eyed and listening, but he won’t get out of bed. He’s gotten up to “make his bed” (can you see my “air quotes” here?) but all he does is […]
Friday Night Follies (Authors, Chardonnay and Choking Hazards)
I saw Jen Lancaster on Friday night!!! Yes! THE Jen Lancaster! She is the incredibly funny, acerbic wit behind: BITTER IS THE NEW BLACK – Confessions of a Condescending, Egomaniacal, Self-Centered Smartass,Or, Why You Should Never Carry A Prada Bag to the Unemployment Office BRIGHT LIGHTS, BIG ASS – A Self-Indulgent, Surly, Ex-Sorority Girl’s Guide […]
In case of emergency… head towards the bar!
I’ve just done a couple of posts about emergency preparedness. You can read parts 1 and 2 here and here. (I will post part 3 on Tuesday.) On that subject, and in line with Happy To Design’s Sunday Favorites, I republish my Dad’s Emergency Preparedness Plan. ~~~ originally published June 25, 2008 ~~~~ Today is […]
I didn’t think sodium was such a problem.
It became obvious to me today that Grant learned a new phrase and was just chomping at the bit to use it… Grant: “Mom, may I have popcorn, please?” Mom: “Sure buddy. Thanks for asking nicely.” 3 minutes and 15 seconds later… Mom: “Grant, your popcorn is ready!” Grant: “Does it have salt on it?” […]
Soap and Brownies.
Grant just came in from playing with his brothers. He was crying and upset. I comforted him, rocked him, soothed him.He suddenly sat up:“Hey Mom! can I have a Brownie?!” Because I’m a sucker:“Sure buddy, but go wash your hands.” “I will just use my tears to do it.” “Nope, you need to go to […]
Answer the question!
You wouldn’t be caught dead where? In a tattoo parlor. I’m sorry, because I know that right out of the gate I’ve probably offended a big segment of the population, but I just would never do it. Here’s the thing: aside from my wedding ring, there is no single accessory that I can see myself […]
The Great Blackout of 1997… or… Why All Bad Things Can Be Traced Back To Chuck E. Cheese
~~~~~~ originally published July 11, 2008 ~~~~~~~~ In a previous post I mentioned The Great Blackout of 1997, and that it was a story for another time. Now is that time. If you are from the “short and succinct” tribe… come back later. (This almost certainly includes my darling Rich.) You “long and verbose” people, […]