You know how when you're wrapping presents you get all of those odd pieces of wrapping paper or little scraps of ribbon left over? I hate to waste anything and Conner hates to have ribbons and knots keep him from his gift, so I thought of the perfect way to use up my extras and tease my son.
This is what happens when a child appears at the side of your bed and, half asleep, you haul him up and toss him in the middle of your king size bed. The middle disappears.
Conner and I were wrapping presents. I take my time and try to make it pretty. He is all thumbs. (And he can use a whole roll of wrapping paper and a mile of tape to wrap a DVD.)
I tried to show him how to take ribbon and make a bow. He says thanks but no thanks... I hate ribbons. I think of them as just another barrier between you and your present.
I just got back from a Fresh & Easy shopping trip. I love that their sale items are fresher and more beautiful than what normal grocery stores have on their best days.
Today, for $100, I got
9 pounds of fresh jumbo shrimp
18 filets of fresh Atlantic salmon
12 pounds of tangerines*
2 pounds of real butter
3 half gallons of Lactaid, the most expensive milk in the world
normal, misc groceries like peanut butter, sour cream, etc.
Why would you name a child after possibly the most evil man to ever walk the skin of this earth? "Well, because no one else on earth would have that name." Yeah. You know why, you dumb shit? Because no one else would name their child after possibly the most evil man to ever walk the skin of this earth.
Incidently, the couple have two other children: JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell and her sister, Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell. Maybe they can add Charles Manson or Charles Starkweather to their brood. Oo! I know! How about Jeffery Dahlmer or Ted Bundy?
I have photos on flickr.com. Most of the are restricted so that only friends and family can see them. Several I had to list as "public" so I could access them from another site.
I was on flickr today and noticed that someone had left comments about my photos. It was another mom who told me that several of my cute pictures of Grant had been bookmarked by some guy who was collecting pictures of little boys in diapers or underwear. For example, this guy had bookmarked a funny photo of Grant trying to wear several pairs of underwear at once because he was so excited to get big-boy underwear. Ew.
I guess this guy has quite the collection going. She probably found him because he bookmarked photos of her boys, and then was a good Samaritan and let other people know. What a creep and how disgusting. All my photos are marked as private now. Ew.
I didn't like the color pink for most of my life. I love it now. If it's pink in this household, it may as well be radioactive... the boys won't touch my iPod, my hairbrush, my toothbrush, my jacket, etc.... Pink is a great defense mechanism at my house.
I was a tomboy growing up. I hated Barbie (and still do). My sister loved Barbie and I would play with her long enough to build and decorate Barbie's house. We didn't have Barbie's dream house. We built her house out of shoe boxes, pillows and whatever else we could find. Barbie's Dream Car? One of Mom's high-heels. (If she had a family car, we would have used a loafer.)
At the point that Barbie's house was set up and running smoothly, I was done. Have my Barbie come over to your Barbie's house and have dinner...? Um, no thank you, I think there is a game of kickball starting up out front.
If I was feeling maternal, I covered up my orange Hot Wheel tracks with a blanket and tucked them in. Dolls, schmalls. No thanks for that. (Stuffed animals do not count as dolls, by the way.)
As a grown-up (ha!) I tend to steer clear of women who are a bit too introspective. I mean, self awareness is a good thing, but it shouldn't be an obsession. I don't belong to any women's groups. I don't have tea and discuss empowerment for women and the dual pressure of being a good mom and a good career person. And I certainly don't go looking at ads on bulletin boards to find friends with idiosyncratic commonalities. Thanks, but no.
In Jerry Maguire, there is a scene where a group of divorced women sit around talking about feelings of inadequacy and a lack of empowerment for women. I would rather get the proverbial poke in the eye than participate in that kind of whiny, vagina contemplating, Stuart Smally-fest. (I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and gosh darn-it, people like me! - I sure hope you know your SNL...) Blah blah blah.
That being said, Friends are a totally different story. Friendships should develop organically, not based on a sign-up sheet. Friends are the ones who actually can give you a feeling of empowerment and support. Friends won't tell you that by wearing lipstick you are buying into the sit still and be pretty male dominated society. However, she'll tell you if it's not a good shade on you, or if you've gotten it on your teeth.
My friend sent me this video, and I was a bit reluctant to watch it because its title is Transcending: Words on Women and Strength by Kelly Corrigan Blech! Sounds like complete schmaltz to me!
However, it is fantastic, and is actually right on the money. It's 5 minutes long, which is both a long time to sit still and watch, and a short time to take it all in.
Women friends = good. Women's groups = not so much.
My husband shot a deer. It was his first deer and he got him on the very last day of hunting season, about 2 miles from our cabin. It was a big deal for him (and for the deer.)
I have deer liver in the freezer at the cabin and I have 60 pounds of venison and a set of antlers in the freezer in my garage. I also have a few dozen venison recipes saved online.
Now, I also have a photo of my handsome husband with a dead deer on my blog. Happy?
After last week's coconut craziness, Devin got a lecture about responsibility, and we got an explanation as to why he is bringing a coconut to school. His English class is reading The Lord Of The Flies and they have divided up into teams and are playing a type of trivia game based on the book. He is the owner of the team's symbolic conch shell, (the coconut) and has to bring it to class daily, or his team loses points.
Upon hearing how important said coconut is, not only to his grade, but to his friends' grades, I suggested he just keep it in his locker. "No, it's too hard to get to my locker between classes."
Devin left for school this morning at his normal time, around 7:15. Around 8:10, and ten minutes after he should have been at school and dressed out for P.E., he comes running back into the house... "I forgot my coconut!"
I am pretty sure that it would have been easier to get to his locker on campus, than to get back to his house 2 miles away and deal with an unexcused absence for P.E. class.
Scene: the kitchen. Mom and Dad are in there as Grant enters the room.
Grant: Mom, you forgot to make my toast. Dad: I'll make your toast for you. Grant: And when I say toast, I mean chocolate. ....What're you guys laughin' at?
I am certain that the Victoria's Secret Powers That Be are either a) demented; or b) sitting back and laughing their collective asses off; or, c) both
(I'm goin' with c)
These are photos from the 2008 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show in Miami.
Targeting the Elmer Fudd demographic.
How practical! Underwear that doubles as a float in Disney's Main Street Electrical Parade.
For Icelandic role-playing... she can dress as Bjork.
Pretty Klingon Princess. (Klingons like their women bony)
Gramma! Get out of your garden! Grandpa wants to trim your rose bushes.
So that's where all those free, direct mail aol discs ended up.
One of the Olson Twins gained some weight and combed her hair. Nice.
Rugby? Lumberjack? Cold weather S&M? I'm so confused. Does this mean that any old, mis-matched or ratty looking underwear that I have buried in my dresser is sexy? Awesome. Tube socks? I am a goddess.
Based on these pictures, I am going to surprise Rich with the sexiest outfit I can find tonight... shapeless sweatpants, tube socks, an oversized sweater, a necklace and an uncomfortable bra. And high heel tennis shoes. And maybe his hunting hat with the flaps. ooh la la.
Back in June, surgeons tried to remove the tumor but it was too big. After a round of chemo and radiation, the doctors determined that the tumor had shrunk enough that they could go in and remove it. They tried to do so last night.
The tumor is wrapped around a major artery and they could not remove it. I don't know if they can bypass that artery, if they are going to do more chemo and radiation or what. It appears they have to go back to the drawing board as far as treatment.
Please keep Mike and his family in your prayers, as well as prayer for Devin & Conner. Thanks.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~UPDATE~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 2:15 pm - The tumor is not wrapped around an artery so much as it is in the middle of a highly vascular area. It has also attached to his bladder. Radiation is no longer an option for him (he's had all he can have) but the doctors were pleased with how much the tumor had shrunk and are optimistic about chemo. Mike is in fairly good spirits, all things considered.
Tuesday evening: Mom: Are you finished with your homework, Devin? Dev: Yeah. Mom: Did you do all of your chores? Dev: Yeah. Mom: Is your back pack packed up and ready to go for school tomorrow? Dev: Yeah (slightly annoyed with this line of questioning....) everything's done.
Wednesday morning: Dev: (on a friend's borrowed cell phone, in a bit of a panic) Mom! Where are you? Are you home?! Mom: Yes! I'm home what's wrong?! Are you OK!? Dev: Yes, I'm OK, but I have a big problem!! Can you walk back to my room?! Look around... do you see a coconut on the floor anywhere?! Mom: A coconut? Dev: Yes! A coconut! I need it for school! It's very important! Mom: I see it. It's on the floor under your desk. Dev: Mom, please, please, please can you bring it to me? I need it for English class. Please Mom! I have to have it! Mom: AAAGGGHHH! (Insert lecture about actually packing up everything one needs for school when packing back-pack...)
Note to Mom: In the future, ask child if all props, symbols and icons necessary for Lord Of The Flies component of English class are packed up and ready to go (along with lunch, PE clothes and completed homework assignments...)
To recap the past few weeks, in order: Halloween; Bathroom Remodel at the Cabin (still not finished... Can you say "Pee in the woods"?); Conner's birthday (bowling & pizza); hosted Bunco for 15; organized team soccer party; threw surprise birthday party for 35 people; hosted Thanksgiving dinner; went to cabin for traditional post-Thanksgiving weekend (potty, yes - shower, no.)
Oh - and in the middle of all of this, I kept my household running and supervised 3 school projects, one of which was a science experiment... Oh, and Rich went hunting and got a deer. His first one, on the very last day of hunting season. (Yay Rich, poor Bambi...)
You know how when you're wrapping presents you get all of those odd pieces of wrapping paper or little scraps of ribbon left over? I hate to waste anything and Conner hates to have ribbons and knots keep him from his gift, so I thought of the perfect way to use up my extras and tease my son. 
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